Friday, January 31, 2014

My Manuscript

Hi everyone,
I'm working on a new story called Dear Lizzy. It's about a girl who has moved into a new country with her family, everyone there speaks the same language as her but she finds it very hard to fit in. After awhile, she realizes that even though she has not been close to God those past few months she was there, He was still with her and gave her friends and things that she needed....

Here's a sneak-peek of the story,hope you like it!

----------- (unedited version)



Dear Lizzy


                        By Tricia

Chapter 1
                                            Strange Voices



Dear Lizzy,
I miss you so much!
When are you going to come back again?It  must be boring in rainy old London.Why don’t you ask you parents to come back?
My Mom keeps asking me to rewrite this in “neater” handwriting and I keep telling her that  I don’t want to!
I feel I’m the only on writing to you and sending e-mails and stuff,the others are too busy with their “new life”.
Please write back!
Love,
Elisa.


I read the letter one more time and thought,Elisa is right about 2 things:Nobody’s communicating with me at all and it’s seriously boring in London. 
Then Mom called me,”Lizzy!”
“Coming!”
I went out of my room and into the kitchen,the smell of pot roast was overwhelming! ”What is it?”
Mom kept washing the dishes,and so I just had to lean there to wait for her to finish.
I missed good old Seattle,the best place to be,then Mom and Dad were asked to go to London,England,to take care of a neighbor’s job “for a while”.
“Elisabeth Jennifer Alden!”
I jumped,startled. Mom was done with the dishes now and had noticed my moping around and,clearly,she was not glad to see me in her kitchen doing nothing.
Her face softened after a moment or two,she sat down on the best armchair in the house.”Sorry,dear..It’s just that..  with nobody answering for the Easter Hunt cards I sent out,well,I just get stressed out sometimes.”
“That’s okay,Mom,It’s just that I heard you call me and I-”
“I called you?!”
“Yeah..did you call me?”
“ Um,no..”
What!
“Maybe it was just the wind,Honey..Go out and play,Dear.” She rose from her chair,
“Sure.”
”I’ve got some work to do”
I went out of the house,still unsure,Yeah,I left my window open when I heard my name,but…..since when did the wind know my name?
And besides,the noise I heard was the loud VOICE kind not the whispery WIND kind!
So I decided to check it out.
First I checked the bushes that ran around the house and beneath my window,I saw a part that had been pushed apart just a few minutes ago,Aha!The thief...wait he-or she-didn’t steal anything...um,the PERSON must have hidden here!
Then,I saw,deep in the bushes a little sparkly thing,it twinkled,and twinkled so much...too much,it was like it was calling me.I immediately shook the thought out of my head,How silly of me,just think about it,that little thing saying, “Lizzy!Lizzy!Come to me!”.
I tried reaching for it,but it was too far from me,so I plunged in and came out all thorny and bushy that I would have been mistaken for a bush myself.
Well,at least I got that shiny thingy.I looked at the “thing”.....it was a part of a shoe...the heel of a shoe it was really...glimmery,so glimmery that it
looked like real silver and by the way I was standing there,holding it and staring at it,it looked like I had stolen it...And would be exactly what my sister would think,so I had to get away FAST!
“Lizzy!”
I turned around,
uh-oh,too late.My sister Leon was there,actually,I’m the only one that calls her that,her real name is Leonanda Bouriana Alden,
I know,brain muddling right?
ANYWAY there she was,standing there and saying “Lizzy!”In that funny way of hers, “Oh,uh...Hi,um Leon..I was just,er-”At this I quickly stuffed the heel into my pocket. “-Ya know,sorta..ah..exploring every inch of our new house and ya know...that kind of thing.”
She eyed me warily.
“Ok,Liz,so can you do me a favor?”
Without thinking,I nodded.
“Good,the favor is answering this question...I know you said every inch of this house but...DOES THAT INCLUDE THE  BUSHES?!?!?!?!?!?!?”
While my brain was racking for an answer,I put my hand in my pocket and touched the silver-y heel as if for support...my mistake..Leon noticed right away,
“Hey!Watcha got over there,sis?”
My face went red,Ugh!Lousy me!
“Here?I-I-I don’t have anything here,ah...hey!Look it’s,um,HENRY!!!”
My sister craned her neck,looking for one of her new best friends.
And,taking my chance I RAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup,I ran between bikes and cars and even dogs,dogs barking,dogs sleeping and all those verbs,Wonder why people in England like dogs so much...hmmm...maybe because they-  
PWANG!
I didn’t have time to finish that thought because right at that second a lampost decided it was the perfect time to get in my way…

When I woke up,the first thing I saw was a bright light that hurt my eyeballs.
When the pain subsided,I looked around,What is this place?
The next thing I saw was a bunch of funny shapes and blobs and blurry stuff that were mixed in all kinds of colours,Yeah,It’s pretty,but what are they?
I tried to observe them properly,Okay,that big um...blob has a brown top and further down...something...blueish green?And..the second one is red all over,but the top is...hazel.And the next one is...wait,those things are Dad.And Mom!And Leon!
When I got my sense back,Mom laughed and said,”If you’re gonna keep bumping your head on all the lamposts in this neighborhood every day your classmates will laugh at you.”
“CLASSMATES!?!?!?!?!”
“Yeah,you’re ‘goin to Rosewood,big ‘sis.”
I groaned and lay down ‘cauz suddenly,my head started hurting again…










                 Chapter 2
        One In A Million
As I entered Rosewood Grade School,I felt a gazillion eyes boring into my back,as for my eyes,they stared at a shiny floor,not one inch of filth.Boy,I’m gonna have a hard time fitting in.
I walked into my science class,and met Mrs.Lean,my science teacher,she was tall,thin,and had a grey bun on her hair.She stared at me over her glasses and said,“So this is Miss.Alden?Hmmm,a little thin,doesn’t wash behind her ears,other than that she looks normal..Hmm...You may go now.”
I quickly half ran to my desk.
I heard a mean comment behind me: “Ugh,I hate newcomers,always so unclean,this girl certainly does not belong in this school”
Tears jumped to my eyes,but I shoved them in and turned to see who said that,there,a girl with blond hair and icy blue eyes stared at me smiling evily...Somehow I finished that class and went to P.E..
In the locker room I was almost done pulling on my running shoes when a girl came over to me a said:”Hello!”
I looked up,surprised,”My name’s Vicki!What’s yours?”
“Um,Lizzy..”
“Is the ‘um’ spelled with one ‘m’ or two?”
We both laughed,for a second I got to look at the girl and really see her,she was a red-head,had green eyes and freckles,she wore worn-out jeans and a dusty red checkered shirt,all in all she was pretty.
We walked to the football field first,Mr.Gardon had challenged Miss.Elizabeth Touren,our gym teacher who preferred to be called Miss.Lizza,to a little ‘footy’ challenge.
As Miss.Lizza helped other kids get more organized,I made my way to Vicki,hoping to talk to her,when,the starting bell rang.
(to be continued)

5 comments:

Unknown said...

WOW!!!
If I don't know you, I'll say its not a nine year old nearing ten would ever make it, but I know its you!!!
Congratulations!
You got me hooked to your story!
I'll sure wait for the continuation.

janet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
purethoughts said...

Love, love, love it, Trish! YOU are awesome!! Keep writing and please let me know if there's already a Chapter 3! Looking forward!!

Tricia J. said...

Thanks,everybody,but don't just thank me.God helped me,too,ya know.
Oh,and I also have a friend who said that I should write this story,so,in short,she sparked the fire.
:D

janet said...

You are awesome, Trish! Your vocabulary usage is so rich! Way to go! I'll be the first one to buy your book! (And maybe, Schenker second)